WARNING TO ALL TIRED WOMEN

Be very careful where you fall asleep, do not I repeat DO NOT fall asleep in public places,lying on your side where your boob is liable to escape the strict confines of your prized possession your faithful wonderbra !!!!!! Julie H I blame you for this boob (excuse the pun) but texting me at 4am the previous day to tell me you had had a fabulous night in the pub with Sharon, was not appreciated especially seen as I wasn't invited. I can only blame the lack of sleep following that text that left me over tired thus causing me to nod off and not the boring monotonous conversation of the people I was with when my embarrassing mishap occurred. Oh well its just gone 3am time I had my revenge on Julie, I'm off now to send her an unwelcome text !!

OK I GOT IT WRONG

I admit i got it wrong about the weather today, not a cloud in sight, the sun was shining and I looked a triflr silly in my wellies, but there was worse to come. Very good night Saturday but knowing I had to work on Sunday I was very good and went home early (4am) bounced out of bed nice n early, collected my daughters who I had press ganged into volunteering with me. Th ecar was full of them moaning and groaning why do we have to be up at this ungodly hour, it was 8 o'clock, where's their sense of adventure. Halfway down the Mumbles road I realised I didn't have my traders permit to park so I insisted on going back home to collect it, they won't let us in without it I kept repeating to them, we should be so lucky they chorused in unison. The wave was broadcasting from the Mumbles, it was the raft race, my daughters kept whinging we should be there not the boring old Gower Fair, I must admit I did agree with them it sounded brilliant down at the raft race especially with all the sun. All the way down the Gower they kept saying see everyone's gone to the raft race there's no other cars down this way. Did the penny drop ? Unfortunately not I kept on driving only to arrive to be greeting by a very sad sign stating Gower Fair cancelled and a telephone number. I rang and queried why, a very angry man shouted down the phone at me Foot & Mouth then cut me off !!! I'm not even going to repeat what my daughters said but they did cheer up a bit when I gave them £20 each and dropped them off at the Mumbles. They must have had a good time as I haven't seen them since. Owen don't even think about mooing when you see me forget it !! A big thankyou to the 3 people who rang me after I arrived home to inform me the Fair had been cancelled don't bother turning up, cheers each and everyone of you !!!!

WET WEATHER ALERT

Don't make any plans for sunday that involve venturing outdoors the weather is going to be very wet, cold and windy. How do I know that, am I psychic, have I read the long range weather forecast, no none of these I've just copped to work on sunday at the Gower Fair. So be warned anyone that intends visiting this event wrap up very warm, wear your wellies, carry an umbrella and be prepared to get drenched. I very kindly put Cassie's name on the list to help (she's 13) but she has threatened to disown me if she has to be seen with me when I'm wearing my green wellies, 3 sizes to big, and my bright pink mac. Ceri, my eldest daughter has just told Cassie, don't bother I've been trying to disown her for years ever since she got banned from the cross keys for getting her head stuck in the railings !!! Genuine mistake it could have happened to anyone and it seemed like a really good idea at the time. I'll let you all know monday morning how it went on sunday I've got to dash now I'm off to look for my thermal vest.

THERE IS A GOD

To all you people out there who have been stressing and worrying about my lack of job opportunity and success, worry no more someone somewhere took pity on me. What would you normally do with someone who has managed to make so little out of so many opportunities offered to her in sunny Blaen Y Maes, exceptionally talented at causing mayhem and mischief wherever she goes, memory like a sieve, off the wall sense of humour, I could carry on with the list of my attributes but I dont like to blow my own trumpet to much. Well SCVS, my employers, have taken into account my outstanding track record so far and decided to promote me. Yes thats right Owen I did say promote I'm going to be working with Age Concern helping them sort out their problems, whoever said I'll cause more than I solve thats not even remotely funny (hope you are listening Owen)
Off now to see where else I can cause Mayhem and Madness

WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID !!!!

Any of you die hard readers out there may remember several weeks ago when I arrived in Blaen Y Maes in a blaze of glory, so good was the reputation that preceded my arrival that the developement workers were fighting over who was going to get me. To stop the arguements I was divided between three schemes all counting themselves lucky to have got a share of my talents. two months later I was sacked by Owen last monday, services no longer required, cheers Owen I'm still hurting. Maggie took to her sick bed when she heard owen had fired me, obviously thought I'd be with her more often, Julie took herself off to hospital to get away from me so that left me with only the volunteers to look after me For the life of me I don't know what I did but when I returned to the drop In Centre lunch time today I was met with mass mutiny all volunteers walked out, handed me the keys and was told they aint coming back. Was it something I said !!
Now to loose one placement in a week would be a worry, the second one smacks of sheer carelessness but three in seven days oh dear I'm not looking forward to trying to explain this one to the boss.
Personally i blame Owen I think to justify his callous treatment of me he's bribed everyone else to say it is true I am rubbish and they can't develope me any further.
ANYBODY OUT THERE NEEDING A TRAINEE DEVELOPEMENT WORKER THERE'S ONE HERE WITH PLENTY OF TIME ON HER HANDS !!
P.S. Don't ask owen for a reference

QUEUES, QUEUES AND EVEN MORE QUEUES

I am pleased to announce that Oakwood Park has perfected the art of queueing, you now have to queue to join a queue !! Arrived early for my long awaited Girls Aloud Concert, queued to join the queue of other idiots who had bought their tickets over the internet (only about 2000 people) gates open at 6pm only one scanner available to validate all these computer generated tickets. Finally got into park at 6.45 then queued for an hour for our daughters to have chicken & chips, I was prepared to starve so we could get a good place to watch but they refused, then waited 45mins while they queued for megaphobia, then another 30mins cos I wanted coffee. We were all cold, fed up and p****d off by this point but I kept reassuring them it'l be worth it, ha ha ha famous last words. 9 o'clock came & went, frostbite had set in, tempers were carefully being held in check, mutterings were heard whose bright idea was this anyway (mine, mine, mine) then at 9.30 some would be warbler sang 3 songs & legged it off stage quicker than you can blink, 9.50 signs of life 3 cars arrived & finally at 9.58 they appeared on stage, not bad really especially when you consider that the park shuts at 10pm !!! £27.50 per ticket what a rip off, they sang & mimed 7 songs, we saw a few minutes of fireworks & were back in the car by 10.4. WAS IT WORTH IT ? YOU BET IT WAS, WILL I BE THERE NEXT TIME,OF COURSE I WILL ONLY THIS TIME I'LL BE FIRST IN THE QUEUE !!!!

RE : AIR CONDITIONING

I must confess I lied on the previous epilogue, I do have air conditioning unfortunately it only comes on when I switch the engine off. Managed to get the radio tuned in to one station, is there anyone out there who could give me a few quick lessons in Russian, at least then I may be able to understand what they are broadcasting.
I'm off to see Girls Aloud in Oakwood Park Saturday, I'm so excited I cant wait. I've bribed my youngest daughter to tell all the family she wants to see them, unfortunately she was brought up in the Christian faith and says honesty is the best policy and £20 bribe just isn't enough to tell a lie that big !!!!
Must dash I've got to practise my dance steps !!!

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE SUN IS ???

My life is very wet and very sad at the moment, all weekend I've worked outside in the rain feeling very sorry for myself. It didn't help when I arrived home sunday wet and be draggled to hear my son mutter nice hair do mum !! He obviously had forgotten its his birthday in 3 days time, his chance of getting a nice present now is virtually nil. Monday morning I set off for work, got stuck in horrendous traffic jam, arrived stressed, drove all the way to Banwen to be told by Owen he didn't see the point of me being there. I hope you are feeling guilty Owen I know Claire begged you to let me stay with you both longer than the end of this month. Got a bit wetter then as I sobbed all the way back to Blaen Y Maes (do you feel even a little bit guilty Owen) god I'm going to make you suffer until the end of July. I've got 5 children to deflate me and hurt my ego I don't need it in work as well. Just cos I kept asking you to turn the computor on DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID, answers on a postcard please.
Well at least my car was finally ready after 3 very long weeks, I felt quite sad giving back my little hire car I'd got quite attatched to it. Jumped in my car no radio, no air conditioning, no heater, tried to complain but was told people who don't know what they'r doing shouldn't attempt to fix cars. I didn't touch anything thats why I took it to the garage in the first place. War has been declared I;m going back to the original garage first thing in the morning. Must dash now I need to go and find an armour suit !!

WHERE OH WHERE HAS MY LITTLE CAR GONE

Two very long weeks ago my car was towed awy (by the wrong break down agent) to a garage to have a new clutch fitted. Sadly to say it hasn't been seen since !!! Apparently it is now having major surgery in a Citreon specialist garage, last report they had found 62 faults. I never knew there were 62 parts on a car, but on the bright side there are still 4 wheels attatched to it !!! If anyone out there wants to organise a whip round for the repair bill lease feel free to donate, failing that a lift know and again would be greatly appreciated. All I can say is it was a very long walk to Tairgwaith this morning all 14.5 miles of it !!!!

THOSE IMMORTAL WORDS - DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID

Yes that's right I was made to eat my words yet again, I admit it I am stupid I just didn't want everyone else to know it. My car broke down, clutch went, phoned breakdown service to have it towed to garage, your policy has elapsed said the gentleman on the other end of the phone, oh no it hasn't I replied. He was adamant it has you didn't renew it last August, oh yes I did I screeched (into my pantomine act here) I upgraded it to cover me in Europe, do you think I'm stupid do you think I wouldn't know if I didn't have cover. Being a sensible man he ttok the easy option said I'll take your word for it and arranged a new policy for me at no extra cost, then arranged for tow truck to take my car to garage. Tow truck arrived took my car then I phoned my insurance broker and asked him why no policy had been set up last summer, it was they replied if you remember you changed to another agency for your breakdown cover !!!!!!!!!!! Oh dear where exactly is my car, which if any breakdown service is paying, do I have to pay double, answers on a postcard please. My son can't look at me now without whispering "Do you think I'm stupid". We all make mistakes I tell him, yes mum he grins but most of us get it right occasionally. No answer to that is there !!

WHO THE ELL ARE SAM & ELLA

If anyone out there knows the where abouts of Sam & Ella please get in touch with me urgently, apparently this illness I have been suffering all week is all down to them. Yes thats right you've guessed it I've got food poisoning (samonella) I wouldn't recommend it to anyone its not nice at all. One of the main draw backs of being ill is al the family keep turning up to visit me then make charming comments like oh my god you look ghastly are you ok !! No I'm not ok thats why I'm laying on the settee with my sick bowl, bottle of water & the cat for company. Anyone that even remotely knows me would realise that I must be seriously ill if the cat is sitting on me, usually I wont let it anywhere near me.On a positive note even being ill has benefits I cant get to the shops to spend any money so my purse is bulging, every cloud has a silver lining !!

Cassie's big day

Well at lasst the day dawned cassie, my youngest, was finally 13, it was like xmas, holidays & birthdays all rolled into one she was so excited. Started with picture and greeting in the evening post, she moaned at that but secretly was chuffed, then lots of gorgeous pressies even more lovely money, 12 friends arrived to be driven off in a limo tour round the mumbles, dropped off in wind street for a meal in china china then off to the pictures. She had faulous day felt and looked like a princess, said I was best mum in the whole world !!
Incase any of you interested in how I enjoyed the day I didn't, unfortunately got food poisoning (no not a hang over all you doubters out there) missed the whole day just ended up with a very large bill for it all and very small bank balance, but it was every penny just to see her face. I love being a mum

Lovely Weekend

Well for all you people out there worrying that I'd embarrassed my children by going to Escape in the Park I took pity on them and gave my volunteer places to my daughter and her friend. they were well pleased free vip entry, lunch vouchers, invaluable experience volunteering and all they had to do in return was hand out leaflets for a few hours. Me I took the easy option took one look at the cloudy, windwept weather and opted for a nice leisurely lunch with Phil. Outcome of this is we are still one big happy family, peace prevails!!!!
Back to earth with a bump on Monday I did a course on child protection, really depressing subject it never fails to amaze me that there are so many cruel people out there. In an ideal world we would all treat each other with kindness and respect, its much easier to be nice to people than to waste time and energy being nasty. When I am Prime Minister I will make it law that we all live in peace and harmony together, votes please !!

Lovely Weekend

The Perfect Day

At long last the I managed to spend quality time with my friend Julie, we had a quick look at the Earth from the Air Exhibition (yes that's right I've been there again!), lovely lunch in Charlie's Chowder House, bit of shopping and lots and lots of gossip. We managed to cram into 4 hours 2 months worth of catch up, plenty of laughter, the odd tear and lots of plans for future meetings.
I did object to Julie pinching my olives but seen as she was paying I couldn't object to much. Cheers Julie you are the best friend ever.

Special Day With a Special Person

Somethings gone very wrong somewhere i've managed to have a whole day off work and i'm going to spend it with my very best friend Julie. We haven't had a day out just the two of us for a few years now there's always been a random collection of children tagging along with us, some of them hers, some mine some complete and utter strangers, we just seem to collect waifs and strays wherever we go. The day will be spent indulging in shopping, eating lushious food drinking fine wine. Well thats the theory anyway watch this space to find out how our day actually went. Got to log off now my beauty treatment is calling i need to look my best, after seeing my photo in the evening post tuesday under the caption The Smart Set I must keepup my reputaion !!!!!!

Another Manic Weekend

Well so much for my nice relaxing weekend off, yet again I found myself at the Waterfront Museum, but with a different hat on this time. The BBC were launching their Breathing Cities series, huge event thousands of visitors and I had the priviledge of being with the Blaen Y Maes food co-op in the refreshment teppee. What an experience it was brilliant, I met so many interesting people, served lots of fruit salads, drunk lots of water and caught a suntan, what a bonus !!
Next weekend I'm volunteering in the welfare tent at Escape in the Park, my children are mortified as they are going, apparently it's not cool for aged parents to be there. I've just warned them don't turn up in the welfare tent or you'll be sorry when you get home. I love growing old you get to embarass your children, revenge is sweet !!!!!!!!!

KEEP ME AWAY FROM THE WATERFRONT

After years of trying to get me to go out in the nights my offspring are now begging me to stay in, they are complaining they never see me, in reality I think they are fed up of spending their own money they'r to used to spending mine !! I can't stay away from the exhibition at the waterfront museum its amazing, not only am I working there but I keep visiting it in the evenings. Last night I went to see the dress rehearsal of a few little drops, which is showing in the garden, took me a few minutes to get into the show, which is audience interactive, but it was absolutely brilliant, well worth a visit, its there till saturday so book a seat now.

Back to work !!!

I have spent the last 2 weekends at the Waterfront Museum Swansea with the Earth from the Air exhibition. My legs are aching, I,ve walked around for miles talking to all the visitors, its amazing listening to all their stories I love it I want to be a tour guide pleeeease !!!! Back to normal this week training to be a community developement worker. I'm in the Dove Centre Onllwn with Owen from the digital outreach team being put to shame by an elderly woman making digital movies and I can't understand a word of whats going on, the technical revolution has passed me by. It's very sad & humiliating when my 12 year old daughter has to log me onto the computor, nothing wrong with good old fashioned pen & paper in my book. Attending the official launch of the exhibition tomorrow evening I'm really looking forward to it, should be lots of interesting people there.

I'm to old to play netball!!!!!

well its the end of my 3rd day they say variety is the spice of life well i'm certainly getting plenty of that. My 2nd day was spent with Maggie touring Blaen Y Maes & meeting lots of interesting people, all was well untill the youth meeting in the evening & I was coerced into jumping up & down on a pogo stick & playing netball. I thought I was doing ok until I overheard a teenage girl say its that old womans turn next !!!! Obviously I need to buy a few more bottles of oil of ulay, my daughters thought it was hilarious they say i'm growing old disgracefullu. Oh well the way I look at it is there's still life in the old dog yet !!
3rd day was at a much more leisurely pace, I spent it in the Drop In Centre with Julie, obviously she took my geriatric status into account before dishing out any tasks to me.
Tomorrow will be spent at the Waterfront Museum traing to be a guide for the Earth from the Air show, I'm looking forward to that, surely that cant involve running round like a mad thing.

first post

This is my first day in Blaen Y Maes and I've found myself in the Dove Centre in Onllwn, someone really ought to buy me a map my sense of direction is appalling !! On a more serious note I'm attatched to theDigital community Network Team and am following them in their outreach work. First impression brilliant but watch this space I am prone to suffering from a short attention span.