WARNING TO ALL TIRED WOMEN

Be very careful where you fall asleep, do not I repeat DO NOT fall asleep in public places,lying on your side where your boob is liable to escape the strict confines of your prized possession your faithful wonderbra !!!!!! Julie H I blame you for this boob (excuse the pun) but texting me at 4am the previous day to tell me you had had a fabulous night in the pub with Sharon, was not appreciated especially seen as I wasn't invited. I can only blame the lack of sleep following that text that left me over tired thus causing me to nod off and not the boring monotonous conversation of the people I was with when my embarrassing mishap occurred. Oh well its just gone 3am time I had my revenge on Julie, I'm off now to send her an unwelcome text !!

OK I GOT IT WRONG

I admit i got it wrong about the weather today, not a cloud in sight, the sun was shining and I looked a triflr silly in my wellies, but there was worse to come. Very good night Saturday but knowing I had to work on Sunday I was very good and went home early (4am) bounced out of bed nice n early, collected my daughters who I had press ganged into volunteering with me. Th ecar was full of them moaning and groaning why do we have to be up at this ungodly hour, it was 8 o'clock, where's their sense of adventure. Halfway down the Mumbles road I realised I didn't have my traders permit to park so I insisted on going back home to collect it, they won't let us in without it I kept repeating to them, we should be so lucky they chorused in unison. The wave was broadcasting from the Mumbles, it was the raft race, my daughters kept whinging we should be there not the boring old Gower Fair, I must admit I did agree with them it sounded brilliant down at the raft race especially with all the sun. All the way down the Gower they kept saying see everyone's gone to the raft race there's no other cars down this way. Did the penny drop ? Unfortunately not I kept on driving only to arrive to be greeting by a very sad sign stating Gower Fair cancelled and a telephone number. I rang and queried why, a very angry man shouted down the phone at me Foot & Mouth then cut me off !!! I'm not even going to repeat what my daughters said but they did cheer up a bit when I gave them £20 each and dropped them off at the Mumbles. They must have had a good time as I haven't seen them since. Owen don't even think about mooing when you see me forget it !! A big thankyou to the 3 people who rang me after I arrived home to inform me the Fair had been cancelled don't bother turning up, cheers each and everyone of you !!!!

WET WEATHER ALERT

Don't make any plans for sunday that involve venturing outdoors the weather is going to be very wet, cold and windy. How do I know that, am I psychic, have I read the long range weather forecast, no none of these I've just copped to work on sunday at the Gower Fair. So be warned anyone that intends visiting this event wrap up very warm, wear your wellies, carry an umbrella and be prepared to get drenched. I very kindly put Cassie's name on the list to help (she's 13) but she has threatened to disown me if she has to be seen with me when I'm wearing my green wellies, 3 sizes to big, and my bright pink mac. Ceri, my eldest daughter has just told Cassie, don't bother I've been trying to disown her for years ever since she got banned from the cross keys for getting her head stuck in the railings !!! Genuine mistake it could have happened to anyone and it seemed like a really good idea at the time. I'll let you all know monday morning how it went on sunday I've got to dash now I'm off to look for my thermal vest.